Happy Valentine's Day

Today we celebrate love.

Love.

Say it again...

Love.

It's a big word.

One we throw around a whole lot.

But what does it actually mean!?

Is love a feeling or a decision?
Is it everlasting or ephemeral?
Is it found outside of us or inside?
Are we spontaneously loving or do we need to cultivate it?
And what is up with  love's shadow - codependency?

The answer is YES.   Love is all of these things.

Today's practice is to feel into the layers of the heart and discover the feeling sense of love in our own experience.  The practice is to build a relationship to love...so we can better understand this big word with four letters.

Let's start with the assumption that love exists in the heart. 

Love - as well as the heart - can not be forced.  Such tactics only cause harm.  Instead we must coax the heart like a timid kitten.   We nurture and support, caress and honor.  And over time, she reveals herself to us. 

Like any good relationship, we reach out and touch at the outer edges of intimacy...building trust.  

We start with the lungs.  The lungs gently massage the subtle beauty of the heart.  As we breathe in and out, feel the edges of heart softens from the touch.  As we expand the chest out, we invite life force in.

Something surprising may happen here.  We may discover our grief. 

Believe it our not (and in the moment it is often hard to), grief may be one of the greatest gifts we are ever given. Grief is the result of a heart breaking, and when the heart breaks we know that we are alive.  We know that we are human.  And we can find - if we let it - the authentic experience of true compassion - for ourselves from ourselves.  We crack, and in the cracking we are exposed to the light...we are exposed to life.  

The thing is, we're often afraid of our grief, as we have somehow learned it is not acceptable...so we suffocate it.  The lungs store it.

If its hard to breath into the chest, then breathe deeper.  Breathe until you either shine with light or cry with beauty.  Fall into a puddle on the floor if it is called for.  Give yourself permission to FEEL!  Feel the pain and cry it out. Cry for everything you've lost.  Cry for the planet.  Cry for the rape of women.  Cry for every time you've abandoned yourself.  Cry until you are totally sick of it...and then cry some more if it is needed.  The only way through the pain is through it...so give yourself the permission and authority to get through it.  And recognize that you are cleansing your soul and lifting the heaviness  - the dark clouds - that sometimes sits on the beauty of your heart. 

When you are done crying (and since we are on a spiral path, you may cry again later) pick yourself up, surrender the grief to the earth, and move toward the next steps...the gates of the heart.

Very long ago, perhaps before you remember, you placed some very wonderful friends at the gates of your heart.  You named them guardians, and most likely, they have grown huge and fierce, which was their task.  Yet still, for you, they are your friends and are nothing to fear.  When you approach them with humility, gratitude, and the desire to love yourself - they will let you pass into the inner most chambers (yet be warned, if you plan to damage your heart, they will not let even YOU pass!)  Since these are your friends, treat them as such.  Give a word of gratitude, some imagined flowers or tasty treat, or a pat on the head - some token of kindness - for the wonderful job they do at keeping your inner most being safe. 

Now we enter.  We enter into the deep, rich cave...the magical folds... the gentle, etheric petals of the hear. 

Can you feel its pulse!?  This unique beat holds the story of your life...it carries your inner most secrets...it whispers the reason for your being?  Listen to it, not with your mind, but with your whole being. You must FEEL the heart - like a gentle breeze on your face.

Tone Aaaaahhhhh a few times and feel it yawn open the heart. All words for God have this vowel sound in it.  I wonder...is it a coincidence?

Now sense, see or imagine, the soft, warm glowing pink light of the heart...it is there even if your mind believes otherwise. The deepest folds of your heart cannot be dimmed by any thought, by any amount of grief.  The depth of your heart holds the true meaning of love for you.  And your duty in the world is to truly experience...beyond the conceptual ideas of love created by the mind.

Feel into the inner most chamber of your heart...feel into the essence that brought you into life.

Let it open and fill the whole of your chest.

If you can't seem to connect with it,  then simply allow grace. 

Grace is like oil in the engine of a car.  It keeps everything running smoothly.  Grace is like a happy accident, happening for no apparent reason.    Grace is simply being loved by love.  Grace is so much bigger than we can possibly imagine, exists all around you and within in you all at once.  So breath into your heart, and re-member grace is often the pathway to love. 

Allow grace...and your connection to love will soon follow.

Build a relationship to grace, and grace will show up.  Build a relationship to your heart, and your heart will show up.  Build a relationship to love, and love will appear. 

I don't believe we can will love, but we can learn to relate.

And as the relationship grows, nurture it like you would a new seedling.  Hold it like you would an emerging butterfly.  

As your heart unfurling its wings, you will surely remember how to fly.